Triple Witching Hour

I accomplished nothing this week.

Nothing. Zip. Nada.

Why? Well, because of Murphy’s Law. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Oh, and it did go wrong. In the financial world there is a thing called “Triple Witching Hour” in which three very important reports all come due on the same day and that can lead to either a massive amount of new capital or – and this is how I am referring to it – it can lead to the market crashing.

In my case, I have had to deal with a crisis in my marriage, a crisis of debt, and a crisis of employment. I’m not going to go into detail here, but if you really want to know the particulars, please ask me in person. What these things have caused is a crash in me. I have been so stressed out that I have not been the least bit creative, the least bit focused, nor have I been the least bit interested in life in general. I’ve been lost, alone, frustrated, and very, very upset.

On top of that, I have a cold. So, I’ve crashed physically as well as mentally and emotionally.

Here’s hoping next week will be better. Stay tuned…

Finding Something I Enjoy Doing

Another week, another round of work on this animation. Kind of the same grind over again, or as a friend of mine would say, “same song, different verse.” Although, there was something a little different this week. I got to do something that I haven't done in years, and I loved it.

I got to work in Illustrator.

There is – for me at least – a certain thrill in using Adobe Illustrator. For one, it's the very first graphics program that I ever worked with. Way back in 1993 I picked up a book on Illustrator and read it cover to cover. I then went out and rented time on a Macintosh (that's a Mac Classic for you young ones out there) at Kinko's and learned how to use it. It was incredible! Producing perfectly sharp, crisp, clear illustrations was intoxicating – and lead me directly to where I am today. So, it was with great joy that I sat down and designed a series of posters that were to be used in the subway sequence of my film. I really, really enjoyed it.

I will definitely be doing more illustrating in the future.

But for right now, I need to finish recapping the week. To that end, I have completed all the shots for sequence three: the black and white subway sequence. I think it looks really good. The “wiggler” motion that I have added to two of the shots really help to sell the feel of the subway, and the passing imagery and posters that I put in seal the deal. I think these shots are ready for final rendering, though I will leave that for review with my instructor and peers. Hopefully everything gets their stamp of approval and I can to a final render. I would be so nice to finally gets some shots in the can.

Of course, on the same token I'm still behind. I did no work on revised animation for the pull back shot at the beginning of the final sequence. I'll bring some materials with me to class tomorrow and see if I cannot start on that, and continue it through Thursday – that should put that annoyance to bed finally. Coming up next is all the floating paper for the first and final sequences. That won't be a difficult process, it will however be tedious. I'm not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to being done with it.

I think I can actually begin to see the end of this project.

Wow, I honestly didn't think that I'm say that. Well, at least not as of last week. I think I've turned a corner here. Hopefully I have anyway. So, stay tuned...

Another Week, Another Milestone, Another Blog Entry

You know, I really wanted to write an upbeat blog entry this week, but I find that I just can't. It's not really one thing or another either. I mean, it's late February and the weather is crap and the sky is gray, and I'm reaching the midpoint of completing the film – which means, as it usually does, that I've reach a point where I can't see the end, just the interminable middle part (that never seems to end).

Bleh.

The thing is, I've been here so many times before with past projects, that it's no longer a new feeling. Just the same old, same old. I know that in a couple weeks I'll clear the middle bits and start to see the end. I'll feel much better about everything – especially since Spring will soon be here and the world will be a brighter, greener place. It's just that right now I'm tired of all of this. I also know that I can't stop and take a break, even though I'm dying to.

Bleh.

Anyway. I've finished colorizing (or grayscaling) the last nine cels from sequence four, and reworked the Astronaut crying sequence as well. That looks pretty good. Getting approve on it, then grayscaling the shot will complete the initial animation work on that sequence. That finishes up last week's goal. As to this week, I reworked the animation for the Astronaut laughing, though it doesn't seem quite right. There is a “hiccup” in the last few frames and I'll need to review that with everyone to figure out the problem and resolve it. Also, I've colorized the cels from two of the final shots and reworked the falling away of the clock at the end to center it. Additionally, I've added a still in the first sequence for an over the shoulder shot of the paper the Astronaut picks up. We'll see how people like that and whether or not the music works with it too. Of course there is always what I didn't get done: reanimating the opening shot of sequence five where the astronaut freaks out. There's always something.

Bleh.

So, next week I have to fix the animation – which will take a bit. Do some more colorizing/grayscaling, and start to work on secondary animations for each sequence. I'm scheduled to work on the floating paper for sequences one and five, but with the additional work I think I may just do the secondary/finishing animation for sequence three (the subway shots). Those should be fair quick and easy to do. We'll see how far I get, and whether the weather and my mood improve any.

Oh, and I still have no prospects for a job. Stay tuned...

My Inner Colorist Was Run Over By A Bus

When I was much younger man, I had the dream of becoming a comic book artist. To that end, I picked up pads of paper, pencils, pens, bristol board, a lettering guide – all the things you needed to learn the trade. And I worked at it. Hard. I explored the venue, even going so far as to pick up a full set of Dr. P. H. Martin's watercolor dyes. This was important, because these were the materials that professional colorists used in the days before digital color came along.

But those days were long ago, and I remember them fondly. Now, I find myself coloring cels for my latest animated piece, and you know what?

I HATE COLORING!!!

Gah! It is repetitive, annoying, and necessary. Three things that are guaranteed to drive me nuts. Honestly, it's the repetitiveness of coloring that really makes me nuts. I spend half an hour on one cel, and there are still fifteen to twenty more to do in the set. I lose track of where I am, what color I'm using, which layer I'm on – let me tell you, the keys crtl + z have become my best friends.

So, with that having been said, project moves along at a constant pace. It is giving me considerable experience in using a graphic tablet, and the end result does have a hand-made, painterly quality to it, which was the original intent. So, it seems to be working. It's just slow and steady. That kind of makes me crazy, as I've always like “fast” art. I know that taking your time and making it right is what is necessary, it's just that once I start a project I want to be done with it. Maybe I'm just crazy.

Well, I haven't finished everything for this milestone, so I need to get back to the grind. Stay tuned...

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Isn't Hope,It's An On Coming Train

This week I have gone from being very far behind to being on top of things, and at a very low cost in time. This is fantastic, this is great, this is wonderful.

So, why don't I feel good about it?

Probably because I don't. There are a lot of things coming together at this point that make me very unhappy and uneasy. There is the continuing uncertainty with my marriage, my lack of finding work and the impending loss of unemployment benefits, the mid-winter blues, limited money and bills piling up, and the advancement of my friends in their careers while I'm still at school. All-in-all it doesn't make me excited about this project.

And yet last semester I was stoked about it.

Yeah well that was last year. Now I see it as a long, slow, grueling, uphill climb to complete a piece that no one seems to get, no one seems to like, and may not help me in terms of my new career. I'm really worried about where I'm going here, and I really don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In any event, I have completed the coloring of the last two shots in scene two, and all the coloring – or black and whiting, as you will – of the cels in sequence three. They look pretty good, but I'm sure they could be better. Hopefully I'll get out of this funk by March and I'll be able to look back at them with a less jaundiced eye. Now, I get to look forward to gray scaling the cels for sequence four. This will probably be just as time consuming as working on the cels for sequence two, AND I have to start reworking one of two scenes that really are very poorly animated.

I just see a lot of work right now that doesn't feel like it has an ending. That's not good. I'm going to stop now and see what I can do to pick myself up.

Hopefully I can. Stay tuned...

Buckling Down

I am my own worst enemy.

No, it's not because I'm incredibly self-critical of everything I produce. No, it's not because I think I'm a mediocre artist and animator. No, it's not because I am filled with self-loathing. Although I suffer from all of these things, that is not the reason I am the enemy.

No, I have a bad habit of letting time slip away from me.

For example, this week I was supposed to have five shots colorized for my milestone – a goal that does not seem very difficult to reach. I started off with the best of intentions, as I always do, getting the basics down on how I was going to colorize this sequence and I even succeeded in getting several cels done for a shot. But it's a difficult, time consuming, and tedious process and I hate difficult, time consuming, and tedious processes. So, instead of working the rest of last Wednesday, I took time off to relax. That was mistake number one.

Then I found out that my wife had the next day, so I decided to spend it with her. This led to a bunch of emotional ups and downs as we are still working things out. Of course Friday is my traditional night to go see friends and I just couldn't get motivated to work. After which came Saturday and Sunday which involved me having to shovel/blow out the snow in the driveway which it an incredibly exhausting thing (I have a HUGE driveway) leaving me with no energy or drive to colorize. I was spent for the weekend and becoming more and more miserable about not getting anything done.

By Monday morning, I was stressed, miserable, and extremely cranky. Not a good way to begin a week.

As I began working on colorizing again, I started to realize that this – like so many things – is just something I have to get through. Not because this work is horrible. Oh, it's tedious and frustrating, but in the end it looks really good. I'm very happy with they way it looks (which I might add is exactly how I had envisioned it, that's something that I've never experienced before). I'm also not getting mad at myself like I used to. Yes, I missed my original goal, but I'll rewrite the schedule and keep going. This animation, more any any one that I have worked on before, really means something to me. I feel different this short. Definitely different.

I'm not precisely certain what that means, but hopefully it's a good thing. Stay tuned...

Insert Commercial Break Here

...and we're back!

Yep, freshly back from Winter break and just a week into the new semester. I hit the ground running by getting everything sorted out and the dust blown off all the files before school started – I admit to having not touched anything involved in animation over break. It was good to get away and get things done around the house and just enjoy being off. I guess it's the closest thing I've had to vacation in nearly a decade.

In any event, I've created my production schedule and it feels pretty solid. It's definitely not rushed either. I have a feeling I'm going to have plenty of time to get this animation just right. I have already started basic coloring of the first sequence of the film (where the astronaut is introduced in the void and he meets the clock for the first time). So far, so good – the colorization process is fairly straight forward, if somewhat tedious. And like I say, everything is going swimmingly.

So, why do I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop?

Seriously, things never go this easily for me, especially at the beginning of the semester. There is always a crisis (or multiple crises) the rock me to the core of my being. That's how it's been since I came to Villa Maria. Nothing bad has happened yet – no illnesses, no deaths of loved ones, no deaths of pets, no accidents, not illnesses, no financial crisis, no (major) marital problems, no nothing.

That disturbs me.

When bad things stop happening on a regular basis, what does that mean? I don't know. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe I'm just used to being miserable. Maybe I'm just not used to life being neutral. Maybe things are finally on an upswing, and they will get better from here on out. I am cautiously optimistic, but I will continue to look over my shoulder for quite some time before I give the “all clear” signal.
Until then, I have work to do. See you next week...